Five the Hard Way

[Deimos Phobos]

From the Journal of Weisha Krazi

Here I am. The town of Solit and spring is here. It could be worse. It could be winter and Solit is hell in the winter. Of course for the money I am making I would be here in winter if I had to. It could be a lot worse.

Its all about the job and the money that goes with it of course. Normally a rogue like myself gets hired to hurt someone, maybe kill them or just to steal something. I have even been paid for information, which I will never argue over making gold just because someone thinks my knowledge is valuable. However, this job is quite different.

I guess the difference that got my attention was the large amount of gold. Just too damn much to walk away from. Waiting out the spring is part of the job. I got to hang out in Solit and get familiar with the folk that live here. If you spend enough time in town you gain respect and status. Its the citizenship that I am waiting for. Once I have that... I can move on to the next phase and another step closer to being done.

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The turning point of the season is here. When summer arrives Solit doesn't seem too bad. The nearby lake can be very good for fishing on a nice day. I can't fish yet. Got work to do. Now I have my citizenship and now the real work begins.

A town coucil election has started today and I added myself as a candidate. This is the most important part of the job. I have to win this election. Or else I could be out a bunch of gold and wasted my time.

I have become a familiar face around town, but that doesn't mean anything. When it comes to elections most town folk are apathetic. In fact most citizens seem to prefer nobody in office... They get afraid of somebody messing around with a system they don't really understand. I don't really understand it either. I'm just following instructions and making things up as I go.

In order for the election to get ratified there has to be at least five votes from the town's citizens. You can be nice with friendly greetings and kiss all the babies you want, but it will probably mean nothing. These folk are more stubborn than most dwarves when it comes to participating in elections. It doesn't help that some of them are actually dwarves too.

This means you have to think outside the box. Getting the first vote is easy because I know what I have to do. It involves a bribe and I know it will work. The tough part is handing out the gold, but I guess I need to spend gold to make some gold.

The innkeeper is my first target. For the right amount of gold he would turn and look the other way while I kidnap his own mother. If you think there is a nice juicy target staying in one of the rooms, just toss the man a little extra gold and he will "accidentally" give you the wrong key for "your" room. Bribing the innkeeper for his vote is a sure thing. I just have to give him the right amount to get the job done.

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"What would Jesus *not* do."

[Deimos Phobos]

One vote secured. Four more to go. Its time for some bully tactics. I got a couple of bruisers in town with me. These big lugs have to try hard to not break your hand when they shake it on a friendly greeting. Sending them to apply pressure can be a really sensitive thing because it doesn't take much for them to go too far.

I will be sending the bruisers to the general shop in hopes of coercing the owner to vote... or else. This particular shopkeep deals in a lot of potions and herbs. Real delicate products. Its not like an armour or weapon shop where the inventory tends to be hard to break, if not unbreakable.

Its important that I get the instructions drilled into the thick heads of these rough louts. Don't hurt the shop owner, just bust a few bottles, than tell the owner if he doesn't go out and vote... they will come back with two friends and destroy every bottle and every plant.

A guy with that type of sensitive merchandise can't afford to not go out and vote. At least that is how I got it figured out. It would take him months to get back up and running, so he would be a fool to resist. Sure he can go to the constabulary, but even if the constables picked up the two bruisers... it won't stop the fact that others will be coming. It would only take minutes to destroy his shop and getting these thugs arrested would take longer than that. Putting the thugs in jail still leaves him to rebuild his shop on his own.

This potion shop owner is a practical and smart man, which should work to my advantage. That second vote should be in well before the end of the day if I am right.

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"What would Jesus *not* do."

[Deimos Phobos]

Who says a dead man can't vote? For my third I decided to do some digging, in an almost literal fashion.

I went to Solit's cemetary to see if any citizens happened to recently meet an untimely demise. It was a pretty rough search. Not many dead folk with the ability to vote, even if they were alive. There is one however that might be able to help me out. He was found dead in the forest after an apparent Giant Hornet attack yesterday. That has got to be a painful way to die.

I look around and it appears nobody is at the cemetary this dark night. Hopefully it stays that way as I head over to hornet victim's grave. Shovel in hand I set to digging up what I suspect won't be a pretty corpse. Fortunately the earth is still fairly fresh and easy to move. Its not long before my shovel hits a wooden crate. Not the prettiest coffin, but its better than nothing, if he died in the wastelands it probably would have been nothing.

I hold my breath and crack open the crate. It still smells no matter how hard I try not to breath it in. The man's corpse is still quite fresh. Blood stains cover most of what is left of his clothing. The punctures from the giant hornets' stingers are quite visible. they might have swollen a bit, but they are damn near the size of a tailor's thimble. The bites look far worse. In many areas the flesh appears to have been slowly chewed off. Some spots reveal teeth scratched bone. Yeah, it definitely had to be a painful way to die.

As ugly as he looks I resist the urge of sickness and bundle up the corpse. I pull my package from his grave and leave the cemetary. I make my way to the church. Only a priest can help me with my new problem.

I don't consider myself a religious person, but some of rituals of Shai'tan freak me out, so when I do need a church I tend to avoid that one.

The priest sees me enter the church with my bundle. As he approaches I can see the look of recognition in his weary eyes. That old face has seen this before. Its not the first time someone has come asking to raise the dead. I tell the priest I wish to revive my fallen adventuring companion. The priest figured as much. Judging by the corpse's condition the priest assures me that it will require a costly donation. I tell him that we are quite a successful duo and once my partner is revived the cost will be recovered quickly.

I let the priest perform his ritual. I don't watch. Resurrections tend to be ghastly. Imagine the forward motion of death... now reverse it. Even though I am not watching I can hear the screams of the man coming back to life. He is living his death backwards. Depending on the skill of the priest the revival can sometimes take as long as it took to die. No matter what, its best to hope for a quick death.

When the priest is done he approaches me with another man who appears much more alive than when I last saw him. Although the pale complexion and blank stare of confusion would lead anyone to think he still isn't all the way back. There is a bit of a lost feeling after the revival.

I give the priest his donation and my thanks. I ask the priest if he is voting in the election before I leave. The priest responds with some long winded story about religion staying out of politics. Too bad, but I wasn't surprised at the answer.

I take my newly breathing companion out into the street. He seems to regaining some composure. He asks me who I am. I tell him my name and he better remember it because he owes me a favor. I brought him back to life, so I want him to vote for me in the election. He might be slowly regaining his senses, but this news seems to leave him dumbfounded. I say lets go to the town hall and cast your vote, luckily the polls never close during an election. Even better for me, he is still pretty suggestible in this state, so he just nods his head.

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"What would Jesus *not* do."